THE PASSION OF THE LATTE. I saw you looking at me from across the room. Don't deny it. Your lips may be tempted to say, "NO, NO, NO!" but the truth in your eyes says, "YES, YES, YES!" You are a saucy one, aren't you? So coy. So demure. So alluring. I cannot help but wonder if there is really anyone on the other end of that phone. Are you engaged in conversation or simply trying to torture me with your hypnotic laugh? With whom are you speaking? Is it your priest? Yes, I believe it is your priest. Are you telling him about me (about the stranger with whom you just shared a moment)?

After 13 months of concentrated celibacy and sobriety, you have surrendered to the passion that is bubbling within. You are going to make a move. I cannot let you do it! I cannot allow you to surrender your dedication for a lifetime of tireless, unending passion. You are better than this, you know. I am TOO MUCH for you. My insight, wisdom and power to paralyze with a single kiss would destroy the very essence of your being. The purity of my love would consume you like this double-shot mocha latte. I must go. I must leave you without ever saying hello. I will not look back, but just know that I am doing it for you...for us.

Tell Father Flanagan to bless us on our journey as we redeem one another from the depths of despair. It is only for you, my love, that I carry this beast of burden, this cross of unrequited love. I am rolling away the rock of temptation and walking out of the Starbucks...Alone, but redeemed again. God, save the Queen and my nameless, caffeine-addicted lover!